My roots show in the ambient light from the open door. Nobody to fix it, I know I've got to learn. She has it together, man, her mom got her a job. I used to think I’d be like her my whole life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m way happier here with people who get me, and not the versions of me they wanna get. (The clean and tidy boy who never wanted to hurt ) Now there’s a battery in my chest, but since when I don't know. Guess I don’t have to care how I treat myself anymore. Reach out and touch my hair, your hands are the same as mine. Done all the same things to try to fix our brains, or at least put them at ease. So it’s my right lung first, and then its my left, my teeth my hair my clothes. I understand if they're disappointed. Bodies hanging off the sides onto the floor. For a moment, it’s like a crime scene. I shake it away, and quietly say to myself, "good thing all I have is the mattress". You’re still our friend, even if you’re not bending over backwards. I assure you, I adore you. We love you all the time. I only open up when it’s ending. tonight, and in life, I'm behind. We swallowed our glass pianos, just to make our problems known. Now we’re all fucked up, and we're all alone, but at least we’re fucked up together. So, we’re all fucked up, and we're alone, but at least we’re alone now, all of us. I hope you're protected, settled down, in love with some nice girl who keeps your ghosts at bay. If I could be in two places at once you know I would, taking turns worried for each other.
from As Much As I Forget,
released April 24, 2020
"Yeah"s kindly provided by: Cian B, Rio G, Lightness, Jonathan Y, & Zajaç
Field recordings/samples: Freesound users cmusounddesign, dobroide, firefreak, mootmcnoodles, rhumphries, rivernile7, speedygonzo, tomlija, & vickyleao1.