Aggravated Conditions

from As Much As I Forget by Twinkle Park

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I haven't been drunk since new years, what a pity. I know I should stop ignoring things that stress me out, I know it stresses you out, sorry for that. Do you remember feeling young? I know that we're still young, but our childhoods were accelerated by factors out of our control. So here we are, both adults in young bodies, and kids in adult bodies. By now I'm on my third or fourth puberty. I mean fuck, right? What's a girl to do when her friends and strangers do more than her country to keep her from falling apart? It's so easy to feel like a burden and a jackass when life's this unrelenting and I just wanna get off. Oh god, please ignore that last part. I've been hormonal these past few months. It's been a long year, but not as long as the last. Doctor Hauzer says these things are bad for me, something about "irreversible effects" as if that's not the point. It's like he doesn't know shit. What won't I blurt out around new people at this point? I'm resigned to a walking embarrassment. There's a lot I never should have said and plenty that I should have that I didn't out of fear. Does that make me a coward, or depressed? It must be both.


from As Much As I Forget, released April 24, 2020


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